His name is Emanuel.
E: Okay, man I get inquiry but I have a little issue with, not trying to persuade, convince, manipulate, play mind games, seduce or being seductive ,no lying etc.... I mean If I let all that go how do you pick up girls? your "just be honest thing" does not really work. I mean, let's be pragmatic, let's say I go out I bring a girl home, and we are about to get busy and she says : are you going to call me tomorrow? ,and I know that my honest answer is NO , do you actually think that I'm going to say that, I mean seriously, just before getting busy.
S: Good question, but before I answer that, do you know why I said all those things ?
E: Not really ..
S: Okay, well the first law of inquiry is simply : Stay in your business ( mentally speaking ).
By trying to persuade, convince, manipulate, play mind games, trying to seduce, playing roles etc... you are going from the assumption that : I need to make her do something. Well, that's not really true, first your business is to make you do things, her business is to make her do things. So, you don't make her do anything. She has a free will and she does it on her own.
To go one step further, we can say that you have never picked up a girl in your Life, by default she picked you up since she has to say " yes" , anyway, otherwise it is called rape, or to be more accurate we can say you picked each other up. That's closer to the truth than anything else. And on the same token, if you don't pick anybody up you are never rejected, because there again to be closer to the truth, she rejected you as well as you rejected her to some extend. So, you just moved beyond the opposites you don't fully believe that you pick girls up, you don't fully believe that you are rejected. It happens or it doesn't. That's about it.
Now, let me answer your question, I wouldn't lie.
( he looks shocked, and doesn't believe me....).
Now, let me elaborate on that, for a second. I wouldn't lie because of how I would have been from the beginning of the interaction. From the beginning of the interaction I would let her know that I am not looking for a long term relationship ( if that's not what I am looking for ), then for instance could say I just truly feel lonely and want to feel connected tonight, I don't want to disrespect you in any way, but I am not ready to be in a long term relationship right now, but I would truly love spending the night with you. If from the beginning of the interaction that mind-set is SET, I would be able to say: I can call tomorrow to see how you are doing, I really don't mind doing that, but like I said earlier I am not ready for a long term relationship.
See, didn't lie, wasn't an asshole, was just honest. That's what I mean, by that. It's how you do it.
E: Not bad, not bad....but do you truly believe it will be that easy.
S: Well, again it's because you come from the assumption that women do not want to have sex with you and that they somehow force themselves to do it, or concede to it, or that you have to make them do it.
I come from the assumption that I am Free, therefore have free will, and since we ultimately see the world through our own eyes, I believe that others are free as well, to some extend. So, I assume that I have free will so does she. She wants to do it, she wants to have sex, she wants to be with somebody tonight, therefore, the concept of " that easy", do not come in play. There is no effort, again I am not trying to make her do anything, she wants to or she does not. And it goes both ways, she does not make me do things either, I do it, that's freedom. The same way I had a specific mind-set when I left home, I assume that she had hers, and we meet, click or don't click. If we don't click, I will talk to somebody else, so will she. But I do understand what you mean, I still see many women who want to be convinced, which almost imply that they don't take responsibility for their choices, almost as if they relinquished their free will for a moment. Freedom implies that you don't hide behind " he made me do it" , or " the booze made me do it" , or whatever, you make your own choices, you do it. So, what happens as you become more and more aware, more and more in your business ( less trying to make others do things or believing you can, which goes both ways), you look for people who are the same so you might be attracted to women who are a bit more mature ( mentally speaking , and maybe physically too I don't know..lol), women who know what they want, so you don't have to try to make them do anything.
E: Okay, I see what you mean, that make sense. My next question is, if no more lying, seduction, role playing etc..just be honest I'm going to lose too many girls, man because I know nothing about tennis for instance, but I had sex with a girl who loved tennis. I just had to love tennis to connect with her. See, what I mean.
S: Yes, I see that, well the problem there is that you are more interested on " the outcome", which is " the next moment" , " the future" , " goal", than you are interested on " the beginning" , " this Present moment" , " the NOW" , "the journey"... forgetting than LIFE is NOW, what IS ,not what IS NOT ( future). Now, it sounds weird, let me elaborate. You are in that predicament because you just want to score, so suddenly it doesn't matter who it is, only " the outcome" , matters. That way you have quantity but not quality ( for you of course, because that quality is relative to you). Instead of just thinking of the outcome, think of connecting. Suddenly your problem is resolved, you connect NOW, " This moment" , that way you won't have as many people, but you won't lie to the one you have because if she likes art you actually like art too, if she like basketball you actually like basketball too. You are not faking anything, yes you won't have as many girls anymore, because you simply can not connect with every body , people like different things, but you will actually enjoy ( which is NOW) the conversation with whomever you are , you will actually enjoy talking about whatever you both like and suddenly you are not lying anymore, instead of being bored and constantly waiting for when you will finally be in the bedroom.
E: It actually make sense. Not bad ,dude.
S: Yes, man, through inquiry you rectify your reasoning. Right reasoning, which can also be called discernment, is like a lantern in front of you lighting the way, helping you travel in this world which can sometimes feel like a dark cave. Sharpen your mind.
Okay, what's next, hit me..
E: I think that would be my last one, now since you are being all honest, non convincing, non persuasion etc.... do you want me to go hey, want to come over,, she says NO, I don't persist , and go to the next one.
S: you see, Mind loves the opposites, the path of freedom is the middle path which contains the opposites yet is beyond both. Let me explain.
Now you are trying to paint the picture of the guy who afraid of girls, ask almost hesitantly or in fear like state. The opposite will be the guy who is cocky and believe that " he is the man". Well, you are not afraid but you are not arrogant either, you are simply honest, there resides freedom beyond the opposites yet encompass both. And you are also aware take information in, pay attention to queues. Let's me elaborate, we have all had the girl who give you the " one word answer" , like: (you) Hey how are you doing ,(her) " I'm good",(you) I like your dress,..(her) thank you, (you) where did you buy it I should probably get a dress like that for my sister ....(her) downtown...
What's wrong in that scenario. No interest at all , she doesn't talk back, doesn't try to connect back, take the queue, move on ....because between you and I, if she was interested she was going to say something a bit more specific than " downtown", at least to try to spark a conversation, but she didn't. So, there you go, stop, move on, no need to try to force anything, or make her say something.
Now, scenario 2: ( you ) Hey, how you doin' ..(her) I'm good and you ...( you) I have had better days but I think the day is about to turn up...( her) ,,,,it's turning up huh, why? ....please don't say because you saw me, too cheesy ...(you) ouch , you got me, I was just about to say that ..( you both giggle)... (you) so, what's your name (her) Jamie.., (you) nice to meet you, Jamie,..and may I say, you look lovely Jamie... (her) ..thank you , you like....(you) yes, great dress....(her) guess how much it cost ...(you) I'm so not a metro sexual man, I have no idea....(her) just 40 bucks,,,,it was on sale...I had to have it ....and by the way what do you have against metro sexual man....my best friend is a metro sexual man...
....bla bla bla....etc.......
I can continue for a while,.....but you get the point...... what's the difference between scenario one and scenario two, scenario 2 flows.....see the conversation is going, about every thing and nothing and it is a two ways street , like I said you have never picked up a girl, you pick each other up. When the conversation flows like that, it just happens, you connect, no need to be the guy who is afraid to talk to girls or the opposite, the guy who is cocky and believe that "he" make them do anything. It happens or doesn't , it flows or does not, when it doesn't, it is not because " you didn't lie enough, or persuade enough, or convince enough etc... " it simply didn't .
See what I'm saying.
E: Yeah, totally, that was good .....you still got game....(lol)
S: Technically, I have no more game , don't play roles, mind games etc.... but yes, still have conversation .....
E: Okay, man, you convinced me, I'm gonna start to inquire, doing your questioning thing. It is not total crap after all.
S: Thank you, but again, I didn't convince you, I simply presented my case, answer your questions and you made your own choice ...( lol..)
Nice, my job here is done, peace out, man.
Peace and Love, and Thank you for the support.
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