I lost my job ( Jack).

S: Okay, Jack, what's your story?

J: I am frustrated because I lost my job, and I can't get a new one.
I want to be able to provide for my family.
I need to provide for my family.
I should be working.
I think it is not fair.

S: Okay, Jack, you are frustrated because you lost your job and can't get a new one. Is it true?
J: Yes.
S: Can you absolutely know that is true?
J: No.
S: How do you react ( how do you feel , what do you see etc...)when you believe that?
J: I feel small, I feel useless, I get angry at myself, I snap at my children for no reason, I feel frustrated, I beat myself up.
S: Okay, what do you say to yourself as you beat yourself up.
J: You won't find a job, jack, you are useless, you are worthless, you are not a man.
S: And how do you react to that?, how do you react to << won't find a job, are worthless, not a man ..>>
J: I go out and look for work even more, try harder, but as I don't find it I feel even worse about myself, I feel ashamed.
S: Okay, Jack, pretty simple cycle. Now , can you see that looking for a job is not frustrating, that it is that whole cycle which is?
J: Yes, I can see that, but the whole cycle only arise because I am looking for a job.
S: Are you sure of that?, the action of looking for a job simply is. Your reaction to it, is your own.
J: I see what you mean.
S: Let's question what you say to yourself as you beat yourself.
You won't find a job, jack . Is it true?
J: I mean, I don't know but I certainly hope that's not true.
S: Just look at the statement, for a second, Jack... I won't find a job.. Is it true?
J: I don't know.
S: Well, technically that statement is false simply because you can not prove me that it is true. I mean are you a psychic, can you see the future?, you can not tell me that you know with certitude that you will not find a job.
J: hum..., I see what you are saying now. So, no that's not true. It is weird to say that, it's like it just gave me hope.
S: Yes, your mind simply opened itself to possibilities. How do you react when you believe that you won't, though ?.
J: I feel defeated, i feel down, low, I feel like I'm fighting against the world.
S: And to go one step further, what happens when you don't find a job the next day.
J: I feel even worse.
S: Yes, but what do you tell yourself?
J: hum..., I don't know.
S: Well, you probably tell yourself, see I knew it, I knew I wouldn't find anything. Which imply that although you were trying you didn't fully believe that you could do it. And if you find something you might say  << I can't believe it>> and be surprised, again which imply exactly that, that you didn't fully believe that you can it.
J: Yes, yes, I say ,, I knew it, and I didn't see the correlation with not fully believing in myself. And I certainly didn't see how from even finding something and be exited I was still fully believing in myself.
S: Yes, most people don't, but the less doubts you have in your mind the less exited or impressed you are when something that you were working on become true. It is not arrogance, though, it is slightly beyond confidence, it is what religious people would call Faith, it is what I call a doubtless mind, it was already given to you before it actually arrived, so it is not a surprise anymore.
S: So, how would you react if you didn't believe that << you wouldn't find a job>>
J: Wow, I would be ecstatic, I mean, if I felt like I would find a job I would be on the moon.
S: Well, technically, we never said that you would find a job, again the mind loves the opposites, I won't find a job or I will a job, let me show you the middle path. So, how would you feel just not believing that you wouldn't find a job.
J: hum , I see. less exited, more cautious, yet not feeling low.
S: Exactly, Open to possibilities, not close off in a specific mind set.
S: Okay, next, because you don't have a job, you are useless, you are worthless? Is it true?
J: No, it's not, but I feel like it.
S: You feel like it because your sense of identity is wrapped up in being the provider, as that role is being taken away from you, a part of your sense of self is being dissolved. Don't fight it, where there was form, ego before now the formless, consciousness will shine through if you let the process happen.
So, because you don't have a job you are not a man , Is it true?
J: No, it is.
S: How do you react when you believe that?
J: I feel ashamed, small , when I see children and I can't provide for them, it breaks my heart.
S: Okay, I get that, but why the shame?
J: I feel like I'm not their father anymore, like I have failed them.
S: Okay, so because you can't provide for your children you are not their father anymore. Is it true?
J: Of course not.
S: Okay, how have you failed them?.
J: By not providing for them.
S: When I was young, my dad used to say, Son, I can only give you what I have, when I have nothing I can only give you that. So, how have you failed your children, by refusing to give them what you have, what you can. Are you supposed to have in all time?.
J: Well, no, I guess.
S: So, you don't have now, how would you feel if you didn't believe that you have failed your children.
J: I would be able to look at them in the eyes.
S: Yes, Love, being able to see them, and see Yourself, I mean you have already lost your job, no need to lose Love too....especially when that's Free...
( he laughs, for the first time since the beginning of the conversation).
J: Yes, you are right.
S: By the same token, how would you treat your wife ?
J: I would connect with her a bit more, spend more time with her, help her more.
S: I mean it's the least you can do ( lol ). Many people say that the lost of a job broke up their marriage, when in most cases it's actually their own egos who broke up their relationships. They lost themselves in their own mental stories and became more and more distant until it feel like they are so far from each other that they might as well be stranger.
It does not have to be like that, you can actually bond even more.
J: Yes, but I feel like that would be wrong.
S: What would be wrong?
J: Me, all happy, loving everything when I lost my job. It's like I'm content, and I"m not looking for work.
S: Okay, if you are not angry about a specific situation you can not take action. Is it true?
( he is pondering..)
J: I mean, I don't know , but I feel like I need the anger to fuel me, if I don't have the anger and I accept it , I stop fighting and I won't take any action.

S: This concept that you need anger to take action is simply not true. You do not need any kind of fuel to take action, you take action because there is a situation in front of you which requires that an action is taken. And you definitely do not need a toxic fuel like anger or fear for that matter. You don't need to think of how you might lose your house before you take an action. Fear and Anger is to the body what all the toxic wastes are to the environment; pollutants. It is because of that mind-set that people seems to constantly wait  "for the disaster" before they take an action. Anger and fear are toxic energy they disturb the whole, love and happiness harmonizes things. Be happy, Loving and look for work.

J: Yes, it seems to make sense.
S: Okay, next, I think I should be working Is it true?.
J: Yes.
S: How do you react when you believe that you should be working NOW , and you are not.
J: I get frustrated, angry.
S: Well, that's what happens when you don't accept what < IS>> , first.
You shouldn't be working, why ? , because you are Not.
J: But I can't accept that, because If I accept that I feel like I won't be looking for work anymore or I gave up.
S: Again, accepting what IS, do not mean you don't take action, actually it means you take action which are more in alignment with the reality that you are facing. It is because of that mind-set that so many things in this world seem to be "stuck". Accepting for instance that teenagers have sex do not mean that you encourage them, but you take the action which is in alignment which Reality, so you distribute condoms. Until very recently, the Catholic church wouldn't promote condoms because they wouldn't accept that people have sex before marriage. The same reason why, teenagers are still put in jail for smoking weed because people won't accept that they smoke. Reality is not what " you want", but simply what " IS". You can deal with what " IS" , not with what " IS NOT"( which is what you want).

J: Okay, I see.
S: So, how do you react when you realize that you should not be working NOW , because you are not, and  the punch line is NOW, we don't know what will happen a day for NOW, which will still be NOW, of course.
J: I guess, I have a certain level of acceptance. A certain calm. ( his shoulders drop down, he relaxes).
S: Yes, a certain peace, from there, now you can look for solutions, actions to take but they are not coming from fear, anger or non-acceptance.
S: And finally last one, it is not fair. Is it true?
J: Yes, I think so.
S: Okay, how you react when you believe that?
J: I get angry, pissed off, it feels like it wasn't supposed to happen.
S: Well, again unless you know the future, you can't say, that it wasn't supposed to happen. Again, how do you know it was supposed to happen? , well it did. There is no need to argue with Reality, what is , IS, what happened, Happened. Live Now, Be here NOW, not in the past.

J: Yeah , that make sense.
J: thank you.
S: You are welcome.


Peace and Love and Thank you for the support.