Andy is a friend of mine, he is a young business man, does pretty well for himself, he is young( 26) and is well off. But Andy has a problem, he can't trust women, he is from a wealthy family and says that since the age of 16 he has never had a long lasting relationship because " they only love him for his money " he says.
S: So, okay, Andy, talk to me.
A: I am frustrated, annoyed, exhausted of going from one relationship to the next, because of money.
I want them to like me for me, to love me for me.
I need them to stop being fake, I need them to be real and truly connect with me.
They should stop just looking at me and my money and actually trying get to know me.
I think it is deplorable, they are just gold digger bitches.
S: Okay, Andy, let's do it, you are going from one relationship to the next because of money. Is It true?
A: Yes, it is true.
S: Can you absolutely know it is true?
A: No.
S: How do you react when you believe that?
A: I become distant, cold, I only want to use them, I can't trust them, I feel paranoid then I beat myself up because I realize that they have not done anything wrong, that it really has nothing to do with them, I try to trust them but I can't bring myself to do it so I hate myself for it, I beat myself up and I hate them for making me feel this way, for not trying harder to gain my trust. then, I'm back to being cold, distant again.
S: Okay, good, Andy, good cycle, now tell me what you tell yourself when you beat yourself up.
A: I will never be happy, I will never be in long lasting relationship, I will never be in a real loving relationship, I'm destined to be alone, I'll have women around but will never be happy.
S: Okay, Andy, and how do you react to that?
A: What you mean?
S: if somebody said "that" to you? , what would you say? , what would you do?
A: I would be mad, and I would prove him wrong.
S: So, how do you prove yourself wrong?
( he smiles...as he got what I mean. )
A: I got out and try to get a girl, have sex and then try to be in a relationship, become clingy needy and try too hard.
S: You see how you react to your own mind, ( lol ), how you fight yourself, it wasn't somebody else saying those things but yourself.
A: I know, I have never seen it like that, it's freaky, it is insane.
S: Yes, it is ( we laugh..) so instead of fighting yourself, and reacting you should simply answer what your mind says, it is true or it is not. But before you get there. Answer something for me, when you go out and get a girl what do you do?, how you get her?
A: Do you want to talk about my pick up technique , now ...( he said, smiling .....).
Well, sir, for us wealthy people, we don't actually have a technique nor do we need one, I go to the club with my nice car, buy couple of bottles, stay in the VIP, and they come to me themselves.
( I smile ), (he keeps his head up high as if saying, you like it , huh , impressed huh..., when I'm actually smiling because I'm about to give him the answer of his questions, and destroy that ego by the same token ...lol..)
S: Okay, so Andy, if I hear you right, you flaunt money and they come Isn't that right?
(he shakes his head, let it drop, and say ..)
A: Shit, I get it.....
S: Yes, now let's read your statements again. I want them to like me for me , to love me for me. They don't.... Is that true?
A: I don't know...( he said under his breath, almost whispering..).
S: Well , they like you for you, love you for you ,NOW, since NOW you just flaunt your money , they love you for that NOW. Can you see that?
A: Yes, I guess ( he says reluctantly, as if slightly defeated ....lol).
S: To go one step further, turn that around for me.
A: I need to like them for them, to love them for them.
S: Exactly, you are not trying to connect with them, you don't care which one comes, simply that "they are hot", and that's that.
A: Okay, so what am I supposed to do, act like I have no money.
S: See, people love the opposites, I hate you or I love you, I have no money or I have lots of it. How do you make friends?
A: I mean, I don't know, we hang around in the same circles, like the same things.
S: Well, that's exactly how you will find a real lasting relationship. Find somebody that you click with, who like the same things as you. Spend less time trying to impress her, and more time trying to enjoy each other Presence. That does not mean that you don't spend your money anymore, it simply means that it goes in the background. If you both like skying, when most people will go to a resort close to them, you can go to the mountain of Switzerland. If you both like basketball when most people would buy tickets and be far behind, you will be front row. You see, the money is in the background, meaning you connect anyway, the money only give you some level of freedom but basically you are doing the same things that you would be doing if you didn't have as much money.
A: I see, it totally make sense.
S: Okay, so there is one more turn around left.
A: I need me to like me for me, to love me for me.
S: Yes, start looking for what you like, what you love Yourself, regardless of money. Find that, then you do that, and you will find somebody who loves approximately the same things.
A: So, I guess I still have to find myself.
S: Of course you do, money only give you some level of freedom in this world, that's about it. Do we still have to turn around the next ones?
A: No , I totally see it now...
A: Thank you..
S: You are welcome.
Peace and Love and thank you for the support.
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