She is out of my league.

S: Okay, James, talk to me.

J: I met a girl but she is out of my league, there is no way I could talk to that girl. She would not go out with me, she would reject me.

S:Okay, let's talk about that for a second. She is out of your league. Is it true?.
J: Yes, she totally is.
S: Can you absolutely know that?
J: Yes, totally.
S: Okay, how do you react when you believe that?
J: I feel small, I see myself as ugly..
S: Then what happens? do you react to that? ...
J: What do you mean?
S: I mean do you try not to feel small and ugly?
J: Yes, I try anyway, but I already know it is going to fail.
S: Okay , then when it fails what do you say to Yourself?
J: I don't know ....maybe I knew it.
S: Now, let's say that it would have "succeeded" , what would you have said to Yourself?
J:  I would have been exited.
S: So, something like << I can't believe it >>? , right?
J: Yeah, probably.
S: Let's go back to the case if it "fails" first. Then after it fails and you say to yourself, I knew it.  What do you say to yourself?
J: I don't know, just that I knew she was going to say No.
S: Do you tell yourself why it fails" how it is because , you are not as beautiful or in the same league or whatever?.....
J: Yes, I guess I say that.
S: Okay, so okay let's see a quick cycle here, you feel small, ugly, you react to that ( probably tell yourself something like man up, man ) then try anyway, then she says no.....you tell yourself ,see I knew this was going to happen..... Is it about right ?

J: Yeah  pretty much I guess.
S: So, you went talking to her with "the expectation of rejection", and then when your expectation will fulfilled you took the answer to justify your belief and prove to yourself that yes you were right, she is out of your league. Is that right?

J: When said like that, it looks like I was setting myself for failure.
S: Well, I only phrased what you are doing.
J: Yes, that is right.
S: Now, first do you see the insanity in that?
J: Yes. I see, I had already lost.
S: That is true. But also, every expectation is " a choice", "a want", " a wish". For instance, Instead of saying I expect to have 100 dollars next week , can't I say I (want or hope) to receive 100 dollars next week? wouldn't it make sense?
J: Yes, it would.
S: So, basically, you go talking to her wanting apparently wanting one thing, but in reality you are wanting 2 things which are totally opposite. You can not want something and it's opposite that's one of the definition of insanity.
S: So, how would you react if you didn't believe " she is out of my league"
J: I guess I would just talk to her and be myself.
S: Yes, and then she says what she says. And that's that. It doesn't go further than that. Since you didn't have an expectation, it simply is what it is.
J: I mean, I get that, but how can you not have an expectation, I mean mine wasn't right but shouldn't I expect to succeed?., that's what I want, isn't it?
S: Well, most people would say yes, but actually you want is for her to say what she is going to say. Meaning, you don't have an expectation,  the expectation is being in her business. First law of inquiry, stay in your own business. Therefore, as weird as it may sounds, you want her to say what she is going to say and you want you to say what you are going to say.

S: So, when you feel small instead of reacting, question your mind in the first place. So, because she is more attractive than you it means that you are ugly. Is it true?
J: No, It does not.
S: Exactly, that was your mind taking her image( that's being in her business), then taking your mental image, making a mental comparison and then saying ( I am not enough ) , that's how you feel small. First stay out of her business mentally , secondo because she is more attractive than you, it means you are not enough , Is it true?
J: No. That's not true.  she is simply more attractive than me, that's all. I never fully realized that I was doing the mental comparison.
S: Well, that's the only way to feel "small" , "less than", "not enough"..... So, how would you be if you didn't do mental comparison and stay in your business?
J: I wouldn't feel small, I mean I would be aware that she is cute, but that's it..I would be more myself.
S: Okay.. now let's open the next door. The second case, the other possibility. If she says Yes. You go << I can't believe it>>. Do you know what that means?
J: What?  that I am exited.
S: No, it means exactly what you said, << I can't believe it>> , it is a proof of your real belief, again show that you already had the expectation of "not succeeding". That is why you can not believe it worked.
J: Yes, that's right, I never saw it, like that.
S: Now, how would you treat her after that?, let's say she said yes, you can't believe it, now how would you treat her.
J: I would give her everything she wants.
S: So, you would try to buy her love and put her on a pedestal  !!!.
J: huh....interesting ...I have to say ...that's true, I wouldn't want her to leave, and would feel the need to do a lot so that she does not leave.
S: Exactly, to be raw, you will kiss her ass.
J: Ouch, that hurts...but yes pretty much.

S: Well, that's what happens when you put people on a pedestal. If somebody is on a pedestal somebody else has to be at the bottom of the stairs. In other word, she has to be " more than" , and you " less than". You know, every time I would find myself impressed or "look up" to somebody, or being star struck I would question what I am believing right away or right after. See, even if she would say Yes. You would still feel small. It has nothing to do with her, but all to do with your own mind. Can you see that now?

J: Yes, totally.
S: And would you like to be with somebody who is constantly kissing your ass?
J: Nah, not really, I mean at first, it's great , it's a great ego boost but pretty soon, it just gets annoying and anyway the other is never real, you feel like you can't truly connect .

S: Exactly, therefore she would dump you. See ... but of course your mind would come and say....I don't understand I did everything for her, how could she dump me? ....she is ungrateful etc...bla bla bla...and then maybe beat yourself up saying ... I knew it...I knew it was going to end....she was out of my league.....etc...bla bla bla.... ( he laughs...)
When the reason is that, she was trying to get to know YOU but never got the chance to, because you were spending too much time being fake, trying to please her ..etc....See
Being Yourself, is the only way to go, as cheesy as it sounds  JUST BE YOURSELF, is one of the greatest spiritual advice there is. We just logically demonstrated it.  As if it was a mathematical equation ...lol....that's why I love Inquiry ....I love logic.




Peace and Love and Thank you for the support.

A conversation about plastic surgery, cosmetics and the body in general.

John: What do you think about plastic surgery?.

S: Well, the cells of your body are living entities, that's just science. The thing is, most people don't fully feel the aliveness in the body. That's why they don't feel its death either.  "Implants" are dead things. As we are awakening we are becoming more and more alive, less and less dense. You know how after dissolving a story you had, you would say " I feel lighter". You are right, you are lighter, and as you awaken more and more you get lighter and lighter, less and less dense. The same thing happen to your body, your very cells get lighter and lighter. That's why I would not advice to put "dead things" inside you. Because you are doing the opposite, instead of getting less dense, you are getting more dense, more heavy, more dead. Of course, if you need to have plastic surgery to replace a Knee it is totally different, your choices are limited, I am talking about selective surgeries, things you can do without. Instead question why you believe that << you are not enough>>.

And the same thing extend to many cosmetics as well. As funny as it sounds the most expensive cosmetics are usually the most harmful to the human body. It is like people are spending more money for poison ( lol...). For instance, would you cut off the ventilation of your computer? . You probably won't, because you understand that by doing so, you would force you computer to overheat and force it to crash, to burn. Well, people do that, with face lifts and "firming creams, toning cream" etc...What those creams do is that they tighten your skin hence constricting your pores. Pores are little holes hat allow you to sweat, to ventilate, why in the world would you want to close that?.
Then they have deodorants which will stop your perspiration...again why would you want that?. Then people wonder why 10 years down the road the have skin cancer or whatever. With your body your are running a marathon not a sprint ( hopefully ..lol..). The skin is the biggest organ of your body. And what can you do to be healthy is simply sweating, letting it breathe. It is free, easy and was given to you already, no need to buy anything. Sweat, eat right, use organic cosmetics, soap, lotions etc.....and you will be fine. Instead of having a soap which dry you up, then because you are so dry after taking a shower you need to put the lotion which only moisturizes you for 1hour but actually dry you up even more ...so you need to put more. All that is done for one purpose.............supply and demands...... , it is simply humans trying to sell their goods that's all. They need you to be dried up all the time, that's how they make money. Look for organic soap, buy coconut oil for lotion ...that's not even 10 bucks together ...and you will be good. No need of face wash, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, after conditioner, face lotion, body lotion ......God ,..,.,seriously ..why all that ......seriously .... Organic soap, and coconut oil for lotion.....done. Then eat right, and sweat.
No need for all those perfumes, deodorants   etc... if you could really smell how some of those " fragrances" truly smell you would be nauseated. You would feel how toxic they truly are, it would literally hurt your lungs. To have an idea ask  pregnant women, their sense of smell is heightened, they will let you know that your " expensive brand name perfume actually smells " bad" , and is actually toxic. But they fragrance is there, otherwise they wouldn't sell, but it is just little doses of poison on your body.
The same goes for certain foods, again just awaken and you will know.
You will use a soap or a cream and it will itch..., you will use organic stuff and it will feel good, that's how you know your body doesn't like the other one anymore.
You will eat certain foods and feel heavy, groggy.... and eat others and feel light, fresh ...that's how you will know...I guess gotta let go of ....whatever...
Simple as that.




Peace and Love and Thank you for the support.

A conversation with Donald.( he just broke up with his girlfriend).

S: So, Donald, talk to me.

D: I am sad, depressed because I broke up with my girlfriend, she broke my heart. I am such an idiot, I knew we were going to break up anyway.  But it's okay, you can be sure it will never happen again, I won't let that happen again, I won't fall in love again, I won't fall in that trap again. They are not going to get me twice, nah....nah... no way, there is no way I will go through that again. No, sir, I'll close the gate, make sure I don't fall in love again. I will only bang them and disregard them. I don't want to be in a relationship ever again. I don't need to be in a relationship again, leave me alone, stay away, I don't need you in my life, get the fuck out of my life, get the fuck away.
I hate you, I hate you so much. I hate you for not living with me anymore, I hate you for taking my wholeness away, I  hate you for taking my happiness away, I hate you for taking the sex away, I hate you for not giving a fuck, I hate you being indifferent, I hate you for leaving, I hate you for abandoning me, I hate you for not being with me, next to me, I hate you for not supporting me, for not fully acknowledging me, for not loving me the way I loved you, for not seeing what I was seeing, for not seeing how whole, complete we were together. I will never love again, I will never be in Love again because of you.

( he is slightly shaking, sweating and breathing deeply..)

S: Okay, Don .. let's do this. So, Don you were an idiot for falling in Love. Is it true?
D: Yes, I was, I had the feeling that it wasn't going to last but I did it anyway.
S: Okay, so, you are only supposed to fall in Love when it is going to last. Is it true?
D: I guess not.
S: Okay, so is it true, you were an idiot to fall in love?
D: I guess, I wasn't then.
S: Okay, How do you react when you believe that you were?
D: I shut down, I decide that it is not going to happen again, that I won't let it happen again.
S: So, you become "guarded".
D: Yes.
S: You know what people call "guarded", I call "restriction" , I call " limitation" , I call " jail". Let's play with words for a second. Guarded implies 4 walls, which implies Jail.
Personally, I like to be Free, therefore I have to "drop my guards" , drop the WALLS, so I'm out of the jail.
D: That's a very good analogy, I have never seen it like that, I just thought that I was protecting myself.
S: Of course, most people don't, they forget that they are imprisoning themselves. So, how would you react if you didn't believe that you made a mistake? , what do you see?
D: I am not in " jail" anymore, it still hurts, but I take the experience for what it was, nothing more, nothing less.
S: Exactly. So, next, you are going to make sure that it never happen again. Is it true?
D: I want to say Yes, but I see that the only way to do that is to live in JAIL and I don't want to do that.
S: So, Is it true?
D: I guess, no....but saying it...is so hard , it's like I want to have my heart broken again.
S: The mind loves the opposites, let's go beyond the polarities. Saying that it will never happen is not true. Does not mean that << it will happen, is true>>.
D: No. it is not. But it's like living in a state of uncertainties, which is uneasy.
S: Be at ease with it. Life is uncertain.
D: That's right.
S: The only thing I can tell you is that now, you will know what to do with the pain or any pain for that matter, you will question it and transmute it. Be an alchemist transmute the metal into gold, suffering into wisdom.
S: So, what do you see when you believe that you will make sure that you will never get your heart broken again?.
D: I see, myself as a vagabond, I go from girls to girls , I have fun but I never take roots.
S: Is that what you want?
D: No, it is not.
S: Now, what do you see when you don't believe that anymore, when you don't believe that you will make sure it never happens again, when you live in incertitude.
D: I see possibilities, as if I have the choice....nothing is fixed.
S: Exactly, and isn't that what it means to be Human, having a choice?. Exert it? , in the previous case as you believed your mind, you didn't have a choice.
S: So, next you won't fall in love again... you won't fall into that trap....Love is a trap Is it true?
D: No, but It felt like it.
S: How do you react when you believe that Love is a trap.
D: I become suspicious, I don't trust, I expect to be stabbed in the back.
S: And that's a sad way to live isn't it?, and exhausting too..., constantly having to look over your shoulder, Gee, that's painful.
D: yes, it is.
S: furthermore, would you want to be with somebody who is constantly suspicious, not trusting . borderline paranoid?
D: Good point, I would probably distant myself from them.
S: And how do you think the other person would take that kind of behavior?
D: I don't know...
S: Well, she will probably see it as being stabbed in the back.
( he laughed...)
D: you are actually right. I didn't even see that.
S: Yes, that's how you very behavior, your very fears create your reality, the very thing you didn't want to happen, Happens...and instead of taking that in and looking at yourself and trying to learn the lesson. People usually take that as a proof to tell Themselves how they were right. Saying see, I knew I couldn't trust her, I was right to be suspicious, which would inevitably just reinforce your walls, and by doing so forcing you to transfer from a minimum security jail to a maximum security jail. When the thing to do what the exact opposite. Not more guards, but less or preferably No guards. You see the same thing happen in the world, one person have an accident and you have thousand new laws created..and slowly but surely people are more and more restricted.

D: Okay, I can see that. But just on a side note, about the world is general, I see it happen you don't suggest that we drop even the laws we already made, or do you?
S: Well, no, I mean in some instance, some laws are just useless. But all I'm saying is, no need to add more. We will have that conversation in more depth at a later date. For now, let's go back to you heartbreak. What would you see if you didn't believe that Love was a trap?
D: I would see it as a beautiful thing, it can be dangerous too, but that's life I guess.

S: Yes, it is and again, if you enter all relationships open to learn, they are not dangerous anymore, you are not in constant fear of losing it. And on another side note, if << spells or curses>> , had any reality at all , it would that. Simply " identification with thoughts" , when believing that you will not fall in love again ..... Well, you won't. Even later on, when you deem yourself ready , you would still believe "the same thing". So, it is a good thing to catch suffering as it is happening, so you don't repress it and it becomes part of your environment, with you not understanding what's happening or why something in particular seem to never work or constantly reoccur.

S: Next, so you will only bang them and disregard them. Is it true?
D: No, not if I want a real relationship again.
S: Okay, next, you hate her for not living with you anymore. Is it true?
D: I guess, I don't truly hate her for that, I miss her.
S: Yes, that was just the ego putting itself in front saying " I can't say miss" because then she wins, I have to be angry. So meaningless....waste of time, be honest with yourself.
And actually, by fully recognizing with is true, you can start healing.
D: Yes, you are right, by just saying that, I felt a lump in my throat but also felt better, as if knowing it will be okay.
S: Yes, you can heal from what  IS( your honest feelings), not from what IS NOT( the lies, the ego you put on top of it..).
S: Okay, next she took your wholeness away? Is it true?
D: Yes, I feel like it.
S: I know, most people believe that somebody else can " complete them". In truth, I am telling you, you are already complete from within, you are whole. Being in love simply remind you of being ONE. So, instead turn that around for me, on yourself.
D: I took my wholeness away ...( he said with a confused uncertain air on his face..)
S: Well, you did that, by forgetting that only you can complete you, nobody else. Or even more accurately you are already complete, whole you just need to realize it. How do you react when you believe that somebody else can take your wholeness away?
D: I deeply resent them, because now I am broken.
S: What do see when you realize that it wasn't for her or anybody to take in the first place.
D: I have a sense of " aw" , I am back to myself.
S: Yes, back in your own business mentally. Not in the next person business demanding them to complete you.
S: You hate her for taking your happiness away. Okay, she took your happiness away. Is it true?
D: Yes, she did.
S: Well, whose business is it to make you happy?
D: Hers...
S: Okay, so before you met her you didn't know happiness?
D: Well played...( he smiled ...) Okay, so It is my business to make myself happy.
S: Yes, nobody else, YOU are responsible for YOUR life. This concept that when you are in a relationship the other is suddenly responsible for your happiness is insane. It doesn't mean you don't do nice things for each other. But you don't lose yourself in the other Life, trying to please them etc.... So, what do you see when you realize that she couldn't have taken your happiness.
D: I feel a sudden sense of responsibility, there is less blame, and I look at myself more.
S: Good, back in your own business.
S: you hate her for taking the sex away. Is it true?
D: Yes, that is true.
S: Well, she hasn't taken your ability to have sex.
D: That's right, but the sex with her was great.
S: Okay, so you are mad, because you don't have sex with her anymore. How do you react when you believe that, what do you see?.
D: I see mental pictures of when we used to have sex.
S: Yes, you mentally relive it now, and actually if you have sex with somebody else you won't really have sex with the new person, but with the person in your mind. How would you be if you stepped away from those mental images a bit.
D: I would be more myself I guess.
S: Yes, and you would be able to enjoy sex with somebody else. So, turn that around for me.
D: I took sex away from me.
S: Yes, by living in those mental pictures of the past instead of living NOW.
S: Okay, she didn't give a fuck. Is it true?
D: Actually she did, she was quite considerate.
S: So, who didn't?
D: I didn't care that she did.
S: Yes, exactly. How do you see her when you see her as the person who doesn't care.
D: Mean, darkness.
S: How would you see her not believing that.
D: Just her....just her.
S: Yep, just her.
Okay , next you hate her for leaving you, you hate her for abandoning you. Okay, she abandoned you, Is it true? .
D: I guess not.
S: Yes, she simply left and you knew she was leaving. So who truly abandoned who?
D: I abandoned myself, I wasn't myself after the break up anymore.
S: Yes, Be yourself, it is your business to be yourself not hers to make you be yourself. It is nobody else business.
S: Well, the same goes for acknowledging you, seeing you etc....you are talking about yourself. Again, It is your job to be the best you can be.
D: Yeah, I see that, no need to question that, I get it.
S: Now, the last one, you will never love again because of her. Is it true?
D: No, so not true.
S: Yes, you will love again, so will she..... Life moves on.
D: Yes, it does.
D: Thanks, man.
S: No problemo....Peace out.



Peace and Love and thank you for the support.

A conversation with a self proclaimed nerd.

S: So, Harris, what's up.
H: I would put it to you quite easily, why do women like jerks?

S: Okay, women like jerks? Is it true?
H: Yes, it is.
S: Can you absolutely know that's true?
H: No.
S: How do you react when you believe that?
H: I try to act like one, which doesn't work anyway, then I beat myself up because I don't like how it feels , meaning being fake, being a jerk, then I feel small because I feel like I have failed. Get back to me again for a while , but then I do it again.
S: Okay , how would you be if you didn't believe that?.
H: I would just be myself of course, but that doesn't seem to work.
S: Well, first women don't actually like jerks, they simply like people who are themselves, just like men don't just like " bitches", they like people who are themselves. Let me elaborate.
S: What does, who you call " jerk" does that you don't.
H: He is mean to them.
S: Not necessarily, he can also simply be honest with them and be himself. Let me give you an example, you have to study for an important exam tomorrow, and a girl that you like calls you and tell you that you have to come to a party right away. What would you do or say?
H: I would definitely go.
S: That's the problem, who you call "the jerk" , might simply say, " I can't", I have to study to take a very important exam tomorrow, but you know what when you are done there, come over to my place.
S: Can you see the difference ? ...
H: I don't really, he said no, yet I feel like she might go to him anyway.
S: He was simply honest, that's all. You are so caught up in looking for approval that you can't seem to just be honest. Because of the assumption that if I say no, she is not going to like me anymore. And the same will go for " the good girl" , if we reverse the role.
Well, technically, she likes you or she does not, stop looking for so much approval, because as you do, you are simply not yourself. See, what I'm saying.
H: Yeah, I have never seen it like that.
S: Well, she has to be with YOU, right?, but you are not even here since you are too busy looking for approval.
H: That make sense. But I tried being myself first, and it didn't work....That's why after trying over and over again by being myself and seeing that the " jerk" will always get the girl, I decided to become a jerk.
S: Again, what you don't see is that, there is more than " the body" to a relationship. I'm pretty sure that you tried talking to girls who had nothing in common with you, but because they were " hot" , you wanted to go out with them.
H: I guess, that's true.
S: Well, that's why you keep getting rejected, you are not looking to connect, you want to be "cool" or whatever. Look for somebody who is interested in the same things as you and you will see that you can not not be yourself, in those conditions,  it just naturally flows and you don't have to try so hard and be somebody you are not, because "you think" it's what they want. See what I'm saying.
H: Yeah, totally.
S: So, all you gotta to do, is find somebody who clicks with you, that's the bond. And stop constantly looking for approval, Be Yourself. Be honest , it is easy, if you want to do something say yes...if you don't, say no... It is that easy, when you are less in the other business worrying about is she going to like it or not etc.....
H: Yeah, I see that. I'll try to do that.
S: Yes, we ( the world ) all want you to simply be YOU, that's all.
H: I'll try and see what happens.
S: Yes, do that.
H: Thanks..
S: You are welcome.




Peace and Love and Thank you for the support.

A conversation with a black person about racism.

S: So, Kevin, talk to me. ( Kevin is black).

K: I am frustrated because I have to work with people who are racist.
 I just want them to see me, for me.
I need them to just respect me.
They should not jump into conclusions that quickly.
I think it's unfair, despicable.


S: Okay, Kev, lets' see, you are frustrated because you have to work with people who are racist. Is it true?
K: Yes.
S: Can you absolutely know that is true?
K: No.
S: How do you react when you believe that?
K: I get angry, paranoid, I feel like everybody is out to get me, I get very defensive, I hate.
S: So, you become a racist.
K: Well said, Yes. ( he smiles..).
S: See, how by believing your thoughts you become them?. Okay, Kevin how would you be if you didn't believe all that?
K: I would be more at ease, I would be relaxed , more myself.
K: But I feel like I can't.
S: Why?
K: I feel like I  am under attack.
S: How are you being attacked?.
K: By the way they talk to me, the kind of question they ask me.
S: Well, Kevin when people ask you question you can just answer them, or not. You don't have to be defensive about it.
K: Yes, but I don't know why I feel like I have to fight back.
S: Who are you fighting?.
K: Them.
S: Well, that happens because you have already assume that "they are trying to get you". If you didn't believe that, they will be nobody to fight. You simply answer or you do not.
S: How do you feel when you believe that "they are trying to get you".
K: I feel like the whole world is out to get me, and I have to fight them all off.
S: Yes, exactly, you make the entire world your enemy. And technically you have already lost this fight, I am sorry but there is over 6 billions of us , one of you , we gotcha.....and there is nothing you can do about it.
K: Yes, that's right.
S: And as you believe that you have to fight the world, how does it feel?
K: Exhausting, oppressing, heavy.
S: Yes, you are wearing the weight of the world on your shoulders. And how do you interact with people as you believe they are all trying to get you.
K: I am distant, cold, snappy.
S: What about trust?
K: Oh, I definitely don't trust them.
S: Exactly, and no trust, no bond, no love.
S: How would you be if you didn't believe that " they are trying to get you".
K: Wow, so lighter, so lighter ....
S: Yes, exactly, are you ready to drop the weight of the world?.
K: Yeah, I really don't like it.
S: Now, let me ask you something, let's say I ask you to work with somebody who is cold, distant, snappy, do not trust you, and is defensive, would like to be around him?
K: No, I see what you are saying.
K: But is it all in my head, though?
S: I don't know them, I haven't met them. All I know is that you are responsible for You, you are responsible for your own state of consciousness, nobody else. They act the way they act, you react the way you react.
S: Okay, next, You just want then to see you. Okay, first they don't see you. Is it true?
K: Yes, I think so.
S: How do you react when you believe that?.
K: I get frustrated, they become those dark people in my mind.
S: So, you don't see them.
(he laughs....)
K: Yes, I can see that.
S: Who else don't you see as you believe that?.
K: I don't know...
S: Well, Yourself , you are not yourself.
K: yes, that's true.
S: So, how would you be if you didn't believe that?.
K: I guess, I would see them and see myself.
S: Yes, to go one step further, it's not our job to see you, it's your job.
K: What do you mean?.
S: I mean you have to see yourself, that's your job, to be fully YOU,  if we don't see it, that's fine, you are YOU.
K: I see what you are saying.
S: Okay,next, you need them to just respect you, they don't respect you. Is that true?
K: Now, I can say I don't really know, I have spent so much time fighting them that I truly don't know anymore.
S: But how do you react when you believe that?
K: I don't respect them that's for sure.
S: Can you see how you will respect them if you didn't believe that anymore?.
K: Yes, totally...
S: And Yourself too...
K: Yes, definitely.
S: Next, they should not jump into conclusions... do you see how you do it?
K: Now, I do ..
S: Can you give them some space, allow them to be, a little.
K: Yes, I can , and me too.
S: And finally, was it fair to them and to yourself to create all that animosity?
K: No, totally not.
K: I think I have some perspective now.
S: So, got back to work and enjoy.
K: I'll try.
S: Okay, then.
K: Thanks.
S: you are welcome.




Peace and Love and Thank you for the support.

A conversation with somebody who has been sick for a while.

Dan: I am exhausted to wait and see everybody else lives go by, and I am standing still, I want to live too, I want to be happy too, I'm so exhausted of it all, when is it my turn, when can I be happy too, when can I have pictures to show others of what I have done, when do I get to go out and have a nice meal with my friends, when do I get to go out and meet a nice girl, when do I get to travel the world. I feel so trapped, I feel so exhausted, It's like Life has cursed me, why so much pain, why so much suffering, why so much, what did I do wrong? , Am I being punished?, what did I do wrong? and how can I fix it?  how can I make it stop?, what do I have to do?.  I feel so stuck, so exhausted, don't I deserve a break too, a break from all that suffering, a break from all that pain...don't I deserve to be happy, don't I deserve to be loved and to love back ....why me?, why?.


S: Okay, Dan, let's talk about that. Okay, every body else lives are going by and yours is not. Is it true?
D: Yes, it is.
S: What do you see when you believe that?, all the things I wanted to do that I am not doing and that I wonder if I will ever get to do.
S: So, you are seeing all those possibles Realities, are those dreams?
D: Not really just things I could be doing.
S: Okay, your mind shows you all those options that you were not even invested in before, Correct?
D: Yes, that's correct.
S: So, your mind shows you everything that is << NOT>> ,  that you don't even especially want to be but << could be>> .
D: That sounds weird, but yes.
S: If I let my mind do that, I would be an astronaut, an heavy weight boxer, and an NBA player.
(He laughs... . . . first laugh /smile of the evening ..)
D: Okay, I get the point.
S: So, instead of living in the world of could be, let's live in the world of what IS.
Now, how would you react if you didn't believe that.
D: I don't know ... I really don't know.
S: That's okay, but can you see that you suddenly spending less time feeding into your own sadness.
D: Yes, I can see that.
S: Now, Everybody else lives is going on, when yours is standing still. Is it true?
D: I still believe that's true.
S: Okay, do you take your meds every day, do you try to get better every day ?
D: Yes, I do.
S: So, your problem is that you are believing that you shouldn't be living YOUR Life, then. Because your live is the Life of somebody who has an illness for NOW at least. And as somebody who has an illness you are living your Life. You think you should be living somebody else life?
D: No, so what you mean is that I should just accept it.
S: Accept what?
D: Being sick.
S: Do you have an illness? , yes or no.
D: Yes, I do.
S: For me it wasn't even a question , what IS , IS. Now, let's live the Life of somebody who has an illness fully. Not the Life of somebody who does not.  Let other people lives alone.
D: I get that, but I can't help to want that. And I feel that it is even healthy, the fact that I want to live again, is pushing me to heal.
S: Okay, so it is healthy to suffer (mentally), is that what you are saying, every time you want what IS not , you suffer, like you are right now.
D: No, it is not healthy to suffer.  But I feel like if I don't want it I won't heal.
S: You need to push your body to heal. Is It true? .... when you were young and you cut yourself you had to want to heal before you actually healed?
D: No, it would just happen.
S: So, you need to want to heal? Is it true?
D: No, but I would feel like if I don't, it's like I don't want to heal.
S: The mind loves the opposite I want or I don't want, let me show you the neutrality, the middle path which is in fact above the opposites themselves. When you didn't want or push your body to heal when you were young , it meant that you didn't want to heal and your body didn't actually heal . Is that true?
D: No, it is not.
S: Of course, it is not, your body has its own intelligence, health is its natural state and it is always trying to get to it. Sometimes it actually need you to just get "out of the way".
D: Okay, I get that.
S: So, you need to be( mentally) in other people lives to help you heal ? Is it true?
D: No. It is not.
S: And actually your body needs YOU Here , instead of being somewhere else. So, that very wanting ( living their lives..)is distracting you from what you really want, NOW, heal.
D: Okay, that make sense.
S: Okay, next I want to live too, so you are not  living NOW. Is it true?
D: I mean NO,  it is not,  but you know what I mean, I mean living my life , going out etc..
S: Again, that's not living your Life, Now. It is living somebody else Life Now, your Life NOW, consist in taking your medications, doing your exercises and resting.
D: Yeah, I see what you mean.
S: So, you are not living your Life, NOW. Is it true?..
D: No, it is not.
S: And actually it is that very concept which prevent you from feeling more alive NOW. Since you assume you will be living" there", instead of NOW. LIFE is NOW.
S: Next, I want to be happy too. So, you are not happy NOW? , do you want me to tell you the secret of happiness?
D: What is it ?.
S: It is to be fully Yourself. And you know when you are the most Yourself?
D:NO.
S: When you are Present. Fully Here ( mentally ...) Not in the next moment, where you are mentally traveling the world and sending pictures to your friends, or when you are outside for a nice meal etc...not when you are in all those moment which you can't be in anyway and do not exist in Reality NOW..but simply when you are in this moment , which does exist, no matter the form of it.
D: Okay, and how long do I have to do that? be Present?
S: How long do you want to be happy for?
(he laughs.....)
D: That's a good one.
S: It simply true. lol. Or we can say, how long do you want to be fully Yourself?.
D: Forever.
S: Be Present, forever.
D: Wow, okay , then ...
S: Okay, next you feel trapped, you feel exhausted. How do you react when you believe that?
D: I try to fight back.
S: Fight (who? or what?) back
D: I don't even know.
S: That's because you are fighting yourself. You feel trapped because Life forced you here, at least physically but you keep wanting not to be here. Stop fighting Yourself, BE HERE. And you won't feel trapped nor exhausted anymore, because it is exhausting to fight yourself.
D: Yes, it is.
S: Life cursed you? Is it true?
D: I feel like it? It is like my body doesn't want to heal.
S: Okay, because your body doesn't want to heal, Life cursed you . Is it true?
D: I guess, no.
S: How do you react when you believe that?
D: I curse at God....I hate God...
S: Who else do you hate?
D: I don't know.
S: Well , if you hate God, you hate Yourself too, don't you?
D: Yes, I do.
S: How would you be if you didn't believe that Life cursed you?.
D: I guess, acceptance, no hate, a certain level of Peace.
S: Okay, and your body certainly needs that, it doesn't need you to bring more toxins, with hate anger etc....that's an ulcer in the making.
D: You are right, you are so right. ( he laughs..)
S: Next, why so much pain, why so much suffering? .....Well, the pain is because  the body. The suffering is because of your mind...keep you mind clean.
D: Yes, I totally see that now.
S: Okay, next ....Life is punishing you? ....How do you react when you believe that?
D: I start to see all the things I have done wrong, all the wrongs I have done to people, and I wonder if that's that, it drives me insane.
S: Yes, and as it drives you insane, it drains you out. your body is already weak  no need to take more out of it. How would you be if you didn't believe that Life is punishing you?
D: I would simply be calmer, way more calm.
S: Yes, some Peace and Quiet, always good  and beneficiary for the body.
S: Okay, you are not loved, right now .. Is it true?
D: I mean, I think so, there is only me,,mainly ..the nurse comes from time to time....or I go to the hospital. But there is only me.
S: Well , Love Yourself, then. even better. Find what you like doing, music, reading a great book, it can become a time of self discovery.
D: Yeah, I can do that, anyway, if there is something I have, it's time.
S: Yes, you do....I hope you get better.
D: Thank you.
S: Just keep mind in check, no need to add suffering to the experience.
D: I can see that now.
D: Thanks, bye.
S: Bye.




Peace and Love and Thank you for the support.