...the beginning of revelations ...

The beginning of revelations.

The light-bearer /the revealer open the gate.

You, Prince, you offspring of David, you who dare to venture into uncharted territory, who dare to venture into the unknown, who dare to venture into the ocean of Life… do you know what you doing? , do you realize what you are doing?.. do you realize what you are about to do, do you realize what could happen if you release this book, do you realize what will happen to you, how you will most likely be persecuted, attacked, how you will be ridiculed, laughed at, or how many will be outraged and want to kill you … do you realize all that? … why even bother? , why go through all this, I mean you have studied history right, you know that each new one is persecuted, from Siddharta, Mose, to Eli, to Jesus, to Mohammed…etc…. you know how it goes,, they attack you , laugh at you, even put in on a cross ….then……. later on they like you…., I mean you have your eyes open, you know how it goes, so why even go through that, why even subject yourself to all that pain, for what?... why not just being Free and live a peaceful life then just leave, why bother with them at all, I mean you don’t need them to be healthier, I mean seriously let them be as they are and you stay in your own business, that’s the first rule of Inquiry right, being in your own mental business, so why don’t you do that?, why do you care when you already know that they will most likely NOT even be grateful that you told them the truth, that you tried to help them. I mean , that’s the just common sense to me, why even bother to help someone who doesn’t want your help, or won’t even be grateful, or might even try to kill you afterwards, are you dummy? ..or are you trying to be “ the good Samaritan”, because if that’s what you are trying to do, that will only get you so far, I think that’s just being “ un-wise”, a complete dumb-ass.

I: I’m really not trying to be a good Samaritan, not trying to do any of that, and I’m truly aware of the weight of the words, I’m using and I have indeed studied history, I know “beast” can’t be trusted, all wolves in sheep’s clothing, but the weight of not saying what I have to say outweight the weight of any repercussion. It’s like one of those things, that you just have to do or you’ll regret it afterwards, so what WILL BE, WILL BE.

After that conversation the book of revelation started ” flowing”…I had no idea that it was “ that” , at first I was as surprised as anyone else would be, had no special prophetic dream telling me that’s what will come, no big weird sign etc….. none of it….none of all the “ the big “ set up” ( mise en scene) of all the major religion etc… no .. nothing …just “ simple and HEAD and pen and it started to flow …

I LET GO OF MY ANGER AGAINST GOD AND ALL THE ELDERS ( SAINTS) AND MARTYRS.

This is ridiculous, how is this going to go for, how long am I going to be sick like this?, how long am I going to vomit blood, vomit sickness, vomit fat, vomit matter, vomit hot lava like, how long am I going to scream for? , how long am I going to suffer for? , it’s been 2 years already, I mean there is perseverance and challenge and then , there is fucking ridiculous, I mean this is not “ a challenge” anymore, it is not difficult anymore, I mean sure everybody knows Life sucks a bit, Life is difficult just the way things are, but there is a limit , this is not Life anymore? , this is hell , this is too much suffering, who wakes up with headache, stomach ache, palpitation, feeling like there is a stone on his chest, a huge weight on his chest, barely able to walk, barely able to breathe, lungs on fire, head pounding, balls( testicles) aching, like able to explode, throat clogged up like , on fire , feel can’t talk, or it hurts when I do, constantly thirsty, or simply so ..so …so dry …, feeling like my entire oesophagus is bleeding, and filled with lava, constant acid reflux like it’s burning… and backache and  and … and… and….

What’s more is that I ‘m working on it everyday dis-identifying from forms slowly but it’s moving so slowly, healing so slowly , what is that? , what the fuck is that ? , how long more? , how long more am I going to scream? , Am I going to suffer like this? , how long more am I going to be in such agony?. And why Nobody wrote a clear real teaching before me,   I mean from Abraham , to Moses, to Jesus,  and what about all the philosophers Socrates etc ….to I don’t know how long princes and Kings came before me, WHY THE FUCK NOBODY TOLD THE TRUTH? , I mean maybe a bit Siddhartha , you see a little clear dis-identify from thinking , a bit of teaching there, but even there not much. What the fuck happen?, how can that be? , how can NOT ONE JUST SAID OKAY, this is the truth, this is the thing you need to dis-identify from forms, and this is how it is DONE, actually showing examples, not just parables, or  little stories, of Jesus was tested that way , and we see a little speech , we don’t really know how it’s done, or siddharta fought MARA, or Moses went on the Mount of Sinai to pray or get the tablet or whatever..

Why nobody had the balls to just say it, whether taboo or not? , they were going to kill you anyway right , so who the fuck cares anymore? .. so, so all those religions, all those cultures all , those traditions, throughout all the continents, middle east , Asia with Lao Tzu, Confucius , Europe all the greeks,  all the philosophers etc…..and on and on … NOT ONE CLEAR TEACHING ,…… NOT ONE ,…hwta the fuck is that ? . all just smoke screen, all just OVERCOMPLICATED THINGS hard to explain or do or apply , Bhagavad gita etc…. what is that? …. And it’s all on me…, LL ME , I all to RECTIFY IT ALL , explain it all, correctly , clearly, I have to leave a clear teaching, all on me, why should I do it? .. , why me? .. why should I have have all that weight on me ? , why should I have this on me? … Fuck you , fuck you ,,,,you dad… and all my gramps, and everybody ….fuck you all …. Why should I do everything…., I ‘m exhausted, I’m just so exhausted , I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t….. I ‘m so exhausted……( my hand start to slow down on the paper….going on slow motion ….like …) I’m exhausted, I’m so exhausted , I surrender, I surrender…….I love you , Dad ,… so Be it.

That is How you forgive. You have been told just forgive, it’s not how it goes, you need to “ burn out” , the anger, the pain first , until your head breaks down, your heart open, your heart let go, until all the energy is release; if it isn’t ..you haven’t forgiven yet, no matter what you say. It is chemistry. Energy is trapped, ( energy =spirit), it needs to be released. But go through the process of burning it out, of transmutation, of “ boiling” , like water going to vapor; there is the BOILING PROCESS, it is what people don’t do , you can’t just skip from one state to the next, the temperature has to rise first.

So, that was me with God and all the Saints, all the Martyrs, all the wise ones,  but it is the same with all, with everybody your dad or your mom who abandoned you, your husband who cheated on you , your wife who cheated on you, or angry at yourself because you can’t stop overeating the disgust you feel for yourself, of angry at the disease who is taking away your father slowly, angry at yourself as you are trying to get off cocaine but cocaine is now like “ a little entity” in control……WHATEVER..it is , IT is thoughts forms. It’s how you do it, do it until something gives, and know that it might come back the next day again, and again, keep doing it, with each break down  it will get weaker and weaker, less and less intense, less and less painful, more and more Spirit will be released, you will gain more Spirit, more Power, more LIFE, and lose more matter, powerlessness, death.

And since we are on the subject of God, I know for most of you, you wouldn’t dare be mad at God, “you will scream “ blasphemy…..” and be all outraged, and feel all self righteous about it. But in truth, I’m telling you that’s why you are not real and you will never know Spirit. Not saying it doesn’t mean you are not thinking it, as a cancer is taking away your 2 year old boy from you, you might be angry at God, how can you do this? .. why ? .. he had his whole life ahead of him … what did I do? …etc…. Acting like you don’t feel that way, or you are not thinking it, doesn’t make it go away, doesn’t make it so. REPRESSING THINGS NEVER WORKS, know that now. That ball of energy is trapped in there anyway, it has to be released and  instead of then wanting to drowning with alcohol, overeating or whatever and actually adding to your problems, you need to face it …INQUIRE… that’s how you truly heal. And actually the more SPIRIT, LIFE, POWER , PRESENCE, you will have the more chances your son will have. So, actually to help in his healing what you can do is HEAL YOURSELF, first , you are both going through illnesses but one can help the other and that’s you.   People will say “ think positive”  or “ have faith”, I won’t say that , if you are still in the dark, feeling dark, you are just faking it, go through it until it breaks that’s true Faith to me, then and only then you will truly leave it in God’s hand, and then 2 things will happen your son could get better or he could pass away , move on, I don’t know, but what I do know, is that DURING THAT TIME, you  might meet, see your Son like you have never before, Some Spirit will flow through, Some LIFE, some true Connection, some ETERNITY….. so as far as the Cosmos is concern even if he passes away  something got accomplished, but if he passes away and the entire time you were unconscious, un-conscient, what’s the point?, you have truly lost everything then .. your son and  Consciousness too. Of course, if you are in that case right now it is fine, THERE IS NO TIME IN YOUR MIND, the WOUND is as fresh as the day it happened, you can set yourself free now, even 10 years later it’s fine.

Concerning all those diseases, I’m sorry to tell you that they are all coming, it is the pain, suffering, blood of all the martyrs all the prophets…. and way more since the beginning. Can’t be stopped anymore, it’s the apocalypse indeed, and don’t wait for it to end, it’ll take too long. Easily one millennium, yes, I mean a 1000 years. From J, 2000 years ago, the Martyrs in the middle age 1200- 1500 etc… all that blood, all that suffering, it is no joke.  It will need “ time” to burn itself out, yet the Cosmos is amazing that you could all transform the planet, the solar system into a humane one at least in like just 20 years, if suddenly every one where to dis-identify it will pull everything but I highly doubt that it will happen that’s why you get the numbers at the end of the apocalypse saying the devil ruling for a 1000 years or whatever, it is very Wise estimation, but you can change it, speed that up , or you could even slow it down make it longer if you refuse to do the necessary work. Anyway, here are some useful advices.

Be Yourself, Follow Presence, Follow Enthusiasm, Heal each other.

Your parents, the world taught you about everything, except what truly matters, lol. How to play, how to laugh, how to cultivate Spirit. You see what you do and you don’t think about anything right? , what you do and you don’t feel “ Time” pass by right? , that IS what being PRESENT is , being here is, what you do that gets you exited for hours, you are Here , alive , Living, owning some skills, cultivating head a bit or playing.  Could be playing sports, playing video games, playing music, being in your kitchen and cooking but not able “ eating” , about taking 3 hours to prepare the meal, about Art. You should do that as a hobby quite often, even if you don’t feel like it or don’t want, because the thing is you are not going to want to do many things quite often, you will feel so sick, so uncomfortable, that you won’t want to do anything but push yourself a bit. Then inquire, inquire, that’s how you heal, but then you will sometimes get tired to talk about your own stuff, tired of your shit so to speak.. go take care of somebody else’s .., go help heal somebody else you will heal too  and you will all evolve. It should be the same about the people around you, people you “ Enjoy”, being next too, some Presence, some LOVE, some Bond. Don’t waste too much time around people who make you “ not want to be here” , make you feel “ I’d rather be somewhere else or with somebody else”. You don’t have that time to waste. Of course it can happen, you could have a family member that you can  just not stand, sure, if you have enough Spirit you could challenge yourself a little bit to stay there anyway, it will help him or her and you too, but if you really don’t feel like it , leave. At best , to help heal others even “ at distance” , this is what you do, you come in contact with them, see how you feel , have pen and paper ready , later on when you leave you start writing , writing, writing, it will be I don’t like this ,,,that e tc.. first … he is like this ,,,or that etc…as you continue you will find his pain .. he will turn as ….he is in pain, he feels  lost . he is mad at the world , ,he/….whatever…. And as you reah “ there” , not only ONE, you have learn something yourself about how not to be, but you understand why he is like that , YOU HAVE JUST TRULY SEEN HIM, and in that space some Healing has happened. That’s how it goes. Of course for some people at some point it get exhausting… they have too much “ shit”, you could say , I’m tired of Understanding you, that’s fine too, judge Yourself how much you can take, you are not responsible for anybody but Yourself at first, not responsible for your Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, etc…Your own head first so find your balance because being around crazy people make you crazy. So help but know when it’s enough for you.

Follow your enthusiasm is the same, what get you super exited you can do for hours, enjoy etc…and less physical pleasures.. I’m not saying to go eat for hours, or have sex for hours, or do drugs for hours…, or just sleep for hours…. ( although you will need your sleep, your rest, but as a result of having worked that day , truly…not just “ sleeping and eating” for days. ). Literally all your values, will have to change, I mean drastically, so completely it is ridiculous. Right now, you care about matter mainly, your work is to have more of it, and usually number one thing is “ money” can’t be helped. But it is about to change, your number one concern will be HEALTH. So Spirit, Spirit, Spirit, your work being about cultivating more of it, not cultivating more form. To cultivate the ground is to cultivate your head. That’s what you will do. Find a way to support yourself and that’s it, I mean ALL YOUR DREAMS, FANTASIES ETC..will have to go, you won’t like it , you will resist it ….I don’t want to lose my life, my etc….But that will be the only way to HEAL…Spirit being released from all “ that weight, that junk, that stuff” ..  a bit Buddhist monk like, or in covenant like, or Zen Master like, but you don’t have to lose your wealth etc…all it is , is that your attention will be on cultivating Spirit that’s it .. so where you will pour your energy, your time is towards something else completely , anyway you will reorganize yourself as it all happens.