The little personality and his/her various stories.

1-Anger/piss off: Constant irritation, constant irritability, constant disdain for life, constant nervousness, constant uneasiness. In a constant state explosive, fuming state as if always ready to blow up. A deep antagonizing of Life.

2- The victim story: The constant complaining, the constant feeling down, constant mental powerlessness, constant mental dullness, the constant mental feeling of “ I can’t”.

3- The manipulating/ bargaining: Constant means to an end, constant mental sneakiness, constant mental cunning. Confusing being cunning with being “ smart”, which is being Intelligent or even something deeper being Wise.

Okay, I did the dishes now can I have the car? , if I do X or Y can I have be “ rewarded”?. Constantly having an hidden agenda. Then irritation when “ things” didn’t go as planned. In other words when Life didn’t meet your expectations or the little plan you had in the back of your head.

4- Famous: I need to be “ seen”, looked at, reputation, my name, my life, my identity, need constant mental outward mirror yet somehow fear it. Fear true SIGHT, because true sight means self awareness, Conscience, means seeing what you are doing, seeing how wrong or sick or how painful and is quite unpleasant.

5- Recognition: Attention, favorable notice. Constant need of mental validation, of being seen by others out there. Not knowing that what truly looking is understanding Oneself, seeing Oneself, is recognizing Oneself. But once again doing so also means constant introspection.

6- Special: Part of more than and less than. Constant narcissistic seed of “me”, “me”, “ me”. Creating deep level of being self absorbed, delusional and having a distorted lens, distorted view of Life.

7- Constant look for approval: In a way to define Oneself, to find one’s self worth out there.

8- Being “right” : Feel more than, feel better than, feeling of superiority. Of course, still hiding the constant seed/fear of possible feeling of inferiority, of constant uneasiness of possibly potentially losing it.

9- Hero story: “ One day you will see”, One day they will know who I am, then they’ll beg me, or they’ll regret it, and then after I make them “ pay” a little bit I’ll save the day.  So, living “ waiting” for the future, living in Absence, the opposite of Presence. There I’ll be fully here. There when they finally recognize me, I’ll be okay, I’ll be fine, I’ll be Happy, then I’ll start fully living, fully being HERE mentally, not still living in the bitterness of the past and waiting for the promise of the future to set me Free.

10- Daydreaming: Thinking Way to cope, way to escape the dreadful “reality”, that fantasy must be better. Unfortunately the more you daydream the less present you are the more painful things are. In order to successfully get “ there”, you need to be fully “ here” and put your entire attention here no matter how unpleasant “ you’re here” might be.

11-Indifference: I wanted, now I don’t anymore. I either need to “ want” it or I need to “ don’t want it or hate it” . they don’t like me so I’m not going to not like them back. “ an eye for an eye”.

12- Hold on, cheer up: The constant impulse of wanting to avoid any “negative” emotions or feeling or never fully experiencing them. Never completely emptying the emotional reservoir. If you are unhappy you must do something fast to be happy, you can simply fully “ let it ride” , to the end. Not knowing that by constantly trying to escape, evade ‘pain’, it usually lingers or simply does not fully dissolves. It would be like an alcoholic stopping the detox  the moment he starts shaking. It’s not how it works, stay with it, completely, there is no escape.

The way OUT is the way THROUGH.

I suppose that they are many other stories, many other compulsive behaviors that “minds” do, but by simply constantly, repetitively, religiously questioning as One mind plays one of those scenarios, you will start to re-educate your mind and force it to eventually be centered, and find serenity and find Home.